It's very hard to know where to start. I can think of a long list of superlatives to kick off with, and a few
graphic descriptions spring to mind. However I think the best thing to start with is the phrase that I had
to keep repeating quietly to myself again and again:
"This is not a dream, this is not a dream"
My partner and I have been saying we'd get married for a few years now. Not in the traditional sense - we did that a while back and whilst it was a wonderful and unforgettable experience, there was something missing. We had celebrated our love with family and friends but just as in our normal working lives we had not made any reference to our sexuality, or more specifically my crossdressing. To both of us I think this felt like a major omission - I had told my girlfriend that I dressed up only a few days after we first met and it has been a part of our lives ever since. She has put up with some major fashion disasters, and I have been very grateful. As I've expanded my wardrobe, she has acquired some stunning rubber clothes so that we can dress up together. We have both been to places like the Skin Two Ball and have had quite a few adventures together. It isn't always plain sailing, but we work things out and it has become something we share. So ever since we first got married we said that we'd do it again, so that this time I could wear the dress, and she could wear a black rubber catsuit (I can't think of a better way to compete with a transvestite in full flow).
As the groom I had not been aware of how much effort goes into a wedding. As the bride, I soon found out. In the end it took years to organise the celebration that we wanted, but I can promise you it was worth every difficult phone call and every headache. Last weekend I walked down the aisle in a gorgeous ivory corseted wedding dress to the Bridal Chorus. Claudia was married in front of a small congregation to a beautiful woman wearing seven-inch heels and a designer rubber catsuit - my partner. We had a re-affirmation ceremony that said everything we wanted, and after champagne spent an hour having photos taken in the secluded private house where we were all staying. It wasn't a hallucination, it certainly wasn't fiction but it was a dream come true.
When I had first begun to plan our celebration, I had thought that the most difficult part would be the dress. With a little bit of padding and a waist clincher, I have quite a nice figure so I hoped to get a gown made to measure that would flatter my male frame as much as possible. To do that I needed to find a good dressmaker who would be willing to design a dream dress for an unusual bride. In the end the process was far easier than I had expected - though having a dress like this made is never a quick affair. I have found that the best approach for things like this is to telephone ahead and be very polite and ask if they can help. I rang ten bridal shops and not unexpectedly seven said they couldn't help - most often because they didn't want their more traditional customers to be upset. One of the remaining three couldn't provide a dress as soon as I thought I needed. The other two were friendly and willing to help so I visited both of them to see what was possible. The first suggested I get together a scrap book of designs and ideas that I liked, so I bought some wedding magazines and had a fun evening cutting out my favourite dresses and sticking them onto paper. After discussing these with both designers I decided which I most liked and booked a proper appointment for her to take my measurements as I wore my waist clincher and padding.
The dress was to be in ivory, very traditional with full skirts, a fitted bodice off the shoulders with long sleeves. One of the things that made me choose the designer was that she could create a corseted bodice which would take a couple of extra fittings, but would help the dress flatter my figure as much as possible. She was very helpful, keeping the shop open late enough that I could leave work and have fittings without either of us having to worry about her other clients finding her latest customer rather strange. After the first set of measurements, she made a test fitting of the bodice in calico so that we could see how the dress would fit before she began on the real thing.
In the mean time my partner and I visited Pigalle to discuss the catsuit that she would wear for the wedding. In much the same way, a test fitting was made from initial measurements so that we could see how it would fit and also find out for the first time how difficult it is to put on a catsuit that clings to every curve of your body. The catsuit was to be in black with red details to match the details in my dress. Distressingly, the test fitting was made from some offcuts that Pigalle had in a metallic purple colour - and which looked absolutely stunning as a catsuit. We'll just have to have another one made in purple next!
Having got the all important fashion off to a good start, the next problem had to be tackled. Where would we have the wedding? We wanted our friends to be able to join us, wear whatever they would like to, relax and enjoy the day and party with us afterwards. The ideal venue would be a private house where we could all stay and have fun. As we weren't planning on having a huge number of friends join us, a large holiday home would do. Looking through the brochures, it didn't take long to realise that there weren't that many options - but there was one perfect place that even had a swimming pool! The first disappointment was finding out that the waiting list for the home was eighteen months long. Looking through the brochures again, there seemed to be nothing else that offered the right combination of space to have a ceremony, space for our friends and privacy - at least not if we wanted to stay near home. Hoping that something better would come along, I gave up for a while and started to think about the other problem - someone to officiate at the wedding.
If finding a venue was difficult, finding an officiator was almost impossible. We wanted someone who could bless us and help us make our commitment to each other. Being very self conscious about my crossdressing, it seemed very hard to approach anyone who could take that role. For once the Internet wasn't much use. Searching for ministers that might be able to deal with our rather unusual ideas threw up few people who might be able to help. Looking through those few, it quickly emerged that none were in the UK. We began to think about performing our own ceremony instead.
Before long the catsuit was ready. With the rest of the wedding far from organised and unwilling to show the catsuit to anyone before our big day we carefully put it away and tried hard to avoid the temptation to get it out again. Still I could find no venues that weren't in Devon or Scotland - far too far away from us to be practical. A second fitting of my dress and suddenly the pencil sketches that the designer had produced were turning into a beautiful gown. The bodice fitted perfectly and the skirts and train had the designer teaching me how to walk so I truly felt and looked elegant. Some of our friends were beginning to ask when the wedding would be - it was getting to be some time since we had told them of our plans, and still no date for the big day. Pigalle had suggested I contact a photographer, Doralba Picerno who might be able to help us get photos of our celebration and find me a make-up artist. I met up with Doralba and we had a trial photo session to see how well we would be able to work together. The resulting pictures are on this site. I could add a photographer and make-up artist to the list of vital wedding ingredients. Finally the dress was complete, I had chosen a veil and shoes and still had nowhere to wear it.
My optimism saved the day though. Reading through the holiday brochures for the hundredth time, I found the same dream venue that we had seen before. On the spur of the moment I rang up the holiday company to find out if there had been any cancellations. To my immense surprise there had - we could have the place in six weeks. Before even ringing my partner to find out if we were free that week, I put a deposit down. Then I rang her, our friends and Doralba to find out if everyone was free for the important weekend. Thankfully just about everyone was free - we could have a wedding! Then I had to address the final problem, finding someone to conduct the ceremony. More web searching and very little to show for it. Various friends suggested places to look, but not much luck. Just as things were looking impossible and I was beginning to research how to hold our own ceremony, I found the personal web site of a minister in Scotland who sounded very approachable. I wrote her a polite email explaining our circumstance and asking if she could suggest a solution. To my great relief she replied to say that though she couldn't carry out the ceremony herself she could give us a list of a number of ministers in the South who might be able to help.
I spoke to three of the ministers who were all very helpful and kind, though the first two were rather busy for such last minute plans. The third said that she could help us and was free that weekend and we should meet up to discuss what was possible. We drove to meet her and chatted about our plans. Her main concern turned out to be that the wedding was entirely my idea and that my partner was merely 'going along with it'. However, after talking with both of us I think she could see that we both wanted it to happen. She gave us some ideas of what a ceremony might involve and helped us to work out a format. We went home very happy with her suggestions and a couple of days later she emailed us with a text of the ceremony so that we could check it and add our own vows to it. With only one week to go, we had all that we needed. One last week at work, very distracted and rushing off to the shops for last minute purchases and suddenly it was the weekend. We were about to get married!
My feet hardly touched the ground on the day. From the moment we woke up there were jobs to do and as the bride I was led in a mild daze from one to the next by our wonderful friends. If I looked wide eyed and blissful it is because I was being cared for by so many kind people. All of the co-ordination and organisational worried were taken away from me and I was the bride. It's hard to describe, but there was no play acting to it - walking down the aisle with my bouquet in my hands I felt wonderful. The biggest thing I can remember from the day is the smile on my partner's face, and the smiles of the people around us.
First though, I had to get ready. Time for a wash, to make sure my skin was smooth and feminine. Then Doralba and Paul the make-up artist arrived and I saw almost nothing of the work going on in the rest of the house as we spent nearly two hours getting ready. It started with long false nails left to set on my own nervously chewed fingers whilst my eyebrows were thoroughly plucked and foundation applied. Then a layer of gorgeous red nail varnish and whilst that set, the first careful application of eye shadow. More red nail varnish so that I had beautiful glossy red tips to my fingers and then eye liner, blusher and sweet false lashes. My lips were painted, then my hair teased and sprayed into place. I had barely a moment to admire the transformation in the mirror before it was time to put on the gown over my white waist clincher, bra and panties and lovely lace topped hold-up stockings. The back was laced and the sleeves buttoned into place. I was helped into my shoes and my necklace placed around my neck, my garter carefully positioned and finally the veil and tiara clipped into my hair.
Meanwhile my partner had dressed in her delicious catsuit and seven inch heeled boots laced up to her knees and had pressed a guest into the arduous task of polishing her. Paul helped her to arrange her hair, creating cute little cat's ears to complete the look. The room for the wedding had been cleared and a circle of chairs arranged. Our friends had all rushed to their rooms and changed for the wedding. One chose to wear nothing at all, another wore a stunning corset, another re-appeared in pvc underwear and outrageous thigh-boots, yet another wore a elegant dinner jacket, one friend wore a smart military uniform and another appeared in a leather harness. I saw little of this though as I was being prepared. By the time I was ready, all of our friends and the minister were waiting in the room, and my partner stood in the centre ready for my arrival. I was led to the room outside, nervously clutching my bouquet and trying to calm my beating heart as Doralba took photos of my arrival. The Bridal Chorus began and with one last deep breath I began my walk into the room to see our wonderful friends fully dressed (or undressed!) for the first time that day and my partner looking gorgeous standing waiting for me.
The minister conducted a lovely ceremony, explaining why we had chosen to do this and what it meant to us. She asked each of our guests to light a candle for us and together we lit a unity candle symbolising our commitment. We had two pieces of music that meant a lot to us and performed a handfasting. The handfasting is the origin of phrases like 'tying the knot' and 'hand in marriage' and involves the couple having their wrists tied loosely with a ribbon that symbolises their coming together. The ribbon, still tied is then removed and remains as a reminder of the joining of the couple. One friend kindly read a poem. Throughout the ceremony my partner and I kept stealing glances and were smiling constantly. We made our vows and at last she lifted my veil and kissed me.
Then the champagne was opened and we could drink and talk properly to each other. Everyone seemed to have enjoyed the ceremony and everyone looked amazing in their choice of dress. It meant so much to be able to share this with people close to us and to see them begin relax together in such unusual circumstances. We couldn't quite relax yet though as Doralba needed to get photographs of us and all of our guests which was great fun and should result in a wedding album like no other. Before long she and Paul had to leave though, as did the minister, and we were left to celebrate with our friends and plenty more champagne. The rest is another story entirely.